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The Indwelling Spirit Global Ministry

1785 Roswell Rd

 

Marietta, GA 30062

 

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My Testimony and Life Journey Story 

 

As a Biblical Christian, I have a testimony (as revealed to me through the reading and study of the Word of God (the Bible) and by the indwelling Holy Spirit) that I must profess to all, be it one person or many, whenever and wherever the Holy Spirit leads. My Testimony is this:

 

“Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, the Jewish Messiah, who was prophesied by the prophets, was born of a virgin, suffered and died on a Roman Cross, was buried, and resurrected from the dead proclaiming light, forgiveness of sin and salvation both to the Jewish people and to the Gentiles.”

 

“The resurrection is both a stumbling block---to the Jew---and foolishness---to the Gentile---who refuse to believe in Christ’s resurrection from the dead.  If there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised.  If Christ has not been raised, then a Biblical Christian’s testimony and preaching is in vain and his Faith is also in vain.  For if the dead are not raised not even Christ has been raised; and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins” (words paraphrased by author from the text of 1 Corinthians 15:13-17, and the book of Acts.

 

In my life’s journey, the Creator God has revealed Himself to me through His Son, Jesus the Christ, His creation, His Word and His Holy Spirit.  I have never questioned the existence of my God.  I can speak and testify to the Holy Spirit’s power, wisdom and knowledge giving examples of actual encounters I have had that strengthen my belief and faith.  Hear me, I do not carry on conversations with spirits, angels or demoniacs nor have I ever seen one.  I do believe in the spiritual world of light and the spiritual world of darkness.  It is my personal belief that the United States is now living in a world of darkness, without light, because her people ask God to leave.

 

 

 

My Life's Journey

 

Let me tell you about my life's journey and why I profess Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

If you could live life over again would you relive yours?  If not yours, someone else’s maybe?  Or, perhaps you would choose not to live life again.  I must say that if I had to live life again, if it was possible to live again in this earthly form, I would choose to relive my same life if I could make one major change: I would change a tragedy that I caused at an early age. Otherwise I would simply choose not to live a life over again. You see, I have been blessed in this life with a wonderful family and blessed by the Holy Spirit. What more could one ask?

I grew up in a moral home environment but not in a traditional—attending church and praying—Christian one. I do not know if my parents were Christians as religion was never discussed. I never recall my father being in a church other than for a wedding or a funeral.  My mother attended church with my brother and me until we started driving and going our separate ways.  My mom never learned to drive so she always had to depend on someone to take her whereever she wanted to go. I think she was just as happy to stay at home.

My parents are no longer living.  I am often saddened by the thought that they might not be in heaven; as I have said before, religion was never discussed in our home.  If you can enter heaven by good deeds alone, they will be there.  The Word of God is clear that the only way to heaven is by confessing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.  You are saved by Mercy not good deeds!  My parents were not alcoholics, abusive, critical, sarcastic, hateful, mean-spirited or in any way none loving.  Other than an occasional switching by my mom when my brother and I had brotherly disagreements, which were few, I was never punished either physically or emotionally.  I find no fault in either of my parents and my brother; we never wanted for anything.

I grew up in what I thought was a normal home.  I never saw my mom or dad outwardly angry with each other or with anyone else.  There was always food on the table, clothing, spare change and we lacked for nothing.  There were no written rules or enforcement of rules, but we knew right from wrong; we had respect for our parents. One might say we had the perfect family home.

On the outside I had the appearance of a happy child. But, on the inside there was a conflict going on that I refer to as my dark side—a poor self-image of ugliness, a feeling of self-loathing, loneliness and depression—that began around the age of seven when an accident that I caused resulted in the loss of my brother’s right eye.  He was five at the time.  I was given a bow and arrow set for my seventh birthday and sent outside (we were at my grandmother's home) to play; there were no instructions, cautions or warnings about possible dangers.  Shortly thereafter my brother lost his eye when we were playing cowboy and Indians.  He was warring glasses to correct for a lazy eye, but in the late 1940’s they did not use safety glass.

The accident was never discussed, mentioned or brought up by my parents, my brother or any relative.  It was as if nothing ever happened. But I knew and I relived the incident throughout most of my life.  I still recall standing by my mother as she and my father and uncle sat around the hospital bed with no one talking.  I do remember the deadening silence and the sadness of it all and telling my mom that I had broken all my arrows.  Those arrows were displayed in a vase like a flower bouquet on my grandparent’s mantle for as long as I can remember, but no one ever discussed the accident. I always saw them as a reminder of what had happened that day.

There were also other things that happened that were enabling me to become so hurt and alone, but I will not go into them now as I have written extensively about my life, and you can read of them if so you desire. At any rate, at the age of eleven I decided to end my life.  No one was responsible for my feelings of loneliness, guilt and self-hatred. I had only myself to blame.

One evening I closed the door to our kitchen and den, stuffed blankets around the bottom of the door, turned on all the burners of the kitchen stove, reclined in my father’s recliner and felt at peace knowing that it would soon be all over.  I can remember distinctly thinking about how all my unpleasant memories would soon pass as I began to drift into unconsciousness.  That is when it happened.  I suddenly was awakened by an internal or external, I do not know which, voice that said, “Billy, get up!”  It startled me so that I almost leaped out of the recliner.  It was urgent that I was to get up, and turn off the gas. That is what I did.

When my father came home from work, he worked the three to eleven evening shift, he started his search immediately as he entered and ran throughout the house and basement trying to find the source of what he thought was a gas leak until he finally settled down and went to sleep.  The next day, nothing was even mentioned about there being a gas smell.  If I had not heard that voice I would not be here today.

For those who have loss someone to suicide, do not blame yourself.  Yes, there may have been signs, but if a person’s outer façade is a mask to hide their inner feelings no one would ever know. To those of you who are considering suicide, let me be the voice that speaks to you. Email me any time if you are considering or before you take your life as you may not hear the voice that I heard that saved my life that day.  Let me explain.

I first heard “a voice in my inter-being or externally” speak to me at the age of five as I was falling backwards from a tall playground sliding board.  I was alone at the time as I had “snuck off” to slide on the sliding board my mother would not allow me to play on earlier in the day. As I was falling backwards the voice commanded, “Wrap your legs around the rails!” I obeyed and came to a safe landing upside down within inches of a marble step with my legs wrapped around the handrails like a circus trapeze performer. There was no one else on the playground other than me.

I’ll add this note because it is important as many “Christians,” especially men and women of God, do not believe that I actually heard a voice or that one can hear a voice from God or His Angels.  So, let me be clear. Not only have I heard it once, but I have heard it many times.  Be assured however, I have never carried on a conversation with my inner voice or a spiritual force either internally or externally.  Nor, have I had visions or conjured up spiritual forces or voices by meditating or by any New Age thought or process.  It does not occur regularly but only at times when I am in danger of hurting myself or someone else.  On that tragic accident day, I heard the voice say, “Let Jerry shoot,” when my brother lost his eye.  I disobeyed the voice command that day and because of my selfishness at wanting to be first, I was responsible for the tragedy.

Even though I was not raised in a Christian family, I was a Bible reader from an early age. I started around the age of nine when a Christian neighbor invited my brother and me to go with them to their church.  I accepted the Gospel Message at the age of fourteen or fifteen and walked the isle at the age of twenty-three to join the church I had attended since I was nine.  Many in the congregation were surprised because they thought I was already a church member.  I will add that I was enrolled in the Walnut Street Baptist Church cradle roll at the age of six months by my grandmother.  She was a very devout religious person, and I feel sure she had offered up prayers for me.

It is my belief that I have been protected by a Godly Spiritual force from an early age. Why, I do not really know.  I feel I have always known God. There never has been any doubt about His existence, and I have never blamed Him for anything.  Twittering—what I call everyday prayers—with God is something I have always done.

I was a Closet Christian most of my life.  I did church things—a onetime boy’s Sunday School Teacher, participated in Church Plays and spoke at the Atlanta Union Mission, had prayer occasionally while eating out at restaurants, “picking and grinning” with a gospel group and other such Christian works.  I never sang in a choir although I did try once but was ask to “just listen” as the choir director did not think I had the "talent of singing."  I’ve had a lot of negative criticism throughout most of my life, but there was always an internal positive to counteract the negative.

It wasn’t until I was in my sixties that I discovered my calling or at least what I think is my calling.  I can rationalize my unwillingness to vocalize my Christianity throughout most of my life as akin to Moses’ forty-year wilderness walking and training.  What about you?

Today my ministry is alive, and I serve Jesus Christ openly and unashamedly. It is primarily an Internet ministry called, “The Indwelling Spirit Global Ministry.”  Its design is simplistic and is not what sophisticated people would view as professionally designed and maintained.  Its main feature is a blog, “www.spirit.theindwelling.org” where I write and publish as the Spirit leads.

My ministry began as a calling by the Holy Spirit to write about the Trinity—God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  My ministry is small but is perhaps larger than many small congregations. It is international in both scope and registered users. What I find striking is that most, if not all, of my Facebook friends (I have now discontinued my Facebook account) and other friends that I know, are not registered users or regular readers and most do not condone my Spiritual beliefs that I voice on my blog site.  I can be somewhat dogmatic, but not in your face style, in my Biblical Belief that the Bible is the True Word of God and that Jesus Christ is the only way to heaven.

No one has ever known of my inner pain as I was an expert at disguising it.  If you read in my Senior High School Annual, the salutations most always describe me as one of the nicest guys anyone would ever want to meet.  I overcame my inner demons without drugs or professional help.  I did it through the power of Jesus Christ and Him alone. His Spirit was there in my early years before and after I tried to take my life.  Without the Trinity, I could have gone any number of wrong ways.

You can also find the peace I have found and a newness of life by simply trusting in Jesus. If you are struggling with life—drugs, immorality (sexual deviancies), alcoholism, suicide—or any other “demons,” seek Jesus, and He will give you a new spiritual nature that will help you to overcome.

I know His powers work because they have worked throughout my life. In Jesus Christ and in Him alone will you experience freedom from the satanic powers that surround you, and you will find the meaning and purpose for your life.

Write me today and tell me your story.

 

Outwardly smiling but inwardly lonely and sad

Everyone has a what I like to call a "A Story of One's Life's Journey" but not everyone is willing to share their story. To tell the true story of one's journey will bring forth emotions from one's inner soul that may or may not be necessarily appropriate for sharing with one's clloses friends or family.  I say appropriate in this light.  A personal story can bring healing, encouragement and comfort to the hearer and also to the teller.  However, a personal story can also bring hostility, criticism, mockery, jealousy and judgmental attitudes as not everone who hears the testimony will offer Godly affirmation, understanding, solace or support.

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